


i picture it, soft, and i ache

by thestarsafter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Akaashi Keiji is a Good Significant Other, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Friend, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Feminization but make it unintentional (?), Insecure Kozume Kenma, Kenma has a stutter, Kuroo Tetsurou is Bad at Feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, Kuroo has a reputation, Light Angst, M/M, Misgendering, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, Neck Kissing, Pining, Slow Burn, Soft Kozume Kenma, Stuttering, Suna is just there to see everyone thrive, Volleyball, kenma smells like strawberries, no beta we die like men, stoner Suna
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarsafter/pseuds/thestarsafter
Summary: Kuroo meets a girl at a bar. It should be just as easy as that, right? Turns out it gets a lot more complicated than he could ever imagine. That’s where Kenma comes in. Other than a class project that has brought them together, they have way more to figure out.OR Kenma meets Kuroo at the bar in a chance encounter but to his horror, Kuroo thinks he’s someone else
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 19
Kudos: 64





	1. I. Chance Meeting (In a Bar)

**Author's Note:**

> hi thanks for reading!  
> first chapter is SO short, but i have more already.  
> please see end notes for more info on disclaimers moving forward. 
> 
> (TWs: Unintentional Misgendering, Unintentional Feminization, some Drinking; Nothing too heavy in this fic, but please be aware and take care of yourself! Remember that you are so loved and appreciated here ♡)

**_Sometimes it’s the moment you expected the least. The person you never saw coming, the one who was standing there in the corner all along._ **

**_Other times it’s the same reflection you see every morning when you wake up after a long night of pretending._ **

Just like many good stories, this one starts at a bar. The music was thumping loudly and there were people everywhere. The first week back at college was usually like this, and Kuroo Tetsurou didn’t expect anything different. His friends were off on the dance floor while he sat there tending to a beer that felt a little bit too warm. It didn’t taste good anymore, but he kept at it anyway.

Bokuto Koutarou and Akaashi Keiji, his hall mates and long time best friends, walked on over with their arms slung around each other and sat next to him. Bokuto was going on about something that happened the other day, sounding a little bit too hyped up on whatever he had been consuming. Akaashi, on the other hand, tolerated it but also showed his love for the other by the way he was looking at him.

Kuroo’s attention was only refocused when Bokuto asked him a question he didn’t quite catch.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I said that girl over there is staring at you.” Bokuto repeated with a small burp. Akaashi put his hand on his slightly poked out tummy and rubbed it gently, finishing off with a little pat. “Do you know her, Kuroo?”

Kuroo looked over through the sea of people, trying to find who this mystery girl was. But no one stood out to him. “Who are you talking about?”

Bokuto giggled. “Um, she was wearing a red plaid jacket.”

Kuroo scanned the crowd again with narrow eyes until he stopped on an individual in the same clothes Bokuto described. It was dark and hard to make out any distinct features, but the most noteworthy were a pair of wide eyes that were definitely looking at him. The lights kept moving but that gaze was unbreakable and for a moment Kuroo wondered if he did know this person. He offered a small smile and noticed how the eyes suddenly disappeared into the crowd. Deciding it wasn’t anything of significance, he shrugged it off and returned to his friends.

The next hour was pretty much spent in the same way. Bokuto and Akaashi spoke amongst themselves, regularly trying to include Kuroo. Something was different though. Kuroo couldn’t shake that feeling, and it was causing him to be disconnected from their conversations.

Eventually he got up from the bar and decided to go to the bathroom. On his way there, he caught sight of the girl that was watching him. He recognized the red plaid jacket and those eyes when she turned around to glance at him once before turning and disappearing around the corner.

Kuroo kept walking since the bathroom was indeed the way she went, and finally noticed that she was gone when he came to the two doors that would separate them. In an unexpected twist, he went into the bathroom and was surprised to see her standing there at the sink washing her hands. He had to do a double take of the bathroom, checking for urinals to make sure he was in the right place.

He was.

Kuroo took a second to look at her. She was pretty small, much shorter than him. He also noticed her hair was pulled back into a messy low bun, with blonde dyed ends. He could see cartilage piercings from where the tips of her ears poked out from under her hair, and when she looked up he noticed her eyes again. They were wide and cat like, almost bugging when she saw him standing there.

Kuroo flashed her a smile again, to which she blushed and smiled back softly. In that moment, he surged towards her and asked a question with his eyes. She nodded and he boldly put his arms around her tiny waist.

The two of them walked backwards into one of the empty stalls and Kuroo shut the door behind them. Clearly he was used to this, since the movements were so familiar to him. As soon as the door shut, he lifted her up effortlessly and sat her against the sink in the big stall, before he began to devour the soft skin of her neck. Her pretty hair tickled his cheek and she smelled like strawberries there.

The girl let out these soft, breathy moans while he kissed the burning skin and he could hear her trying to say something, but he was enjoying the taste, the sounds, all of it, far too much.

“Y-you, ahh, remember- ahh...” her small hands traveled up his shoulders and tangled around his neck and he could feel her thighs tightening around his waist.

“Hm?” He asked, leaving another kiss. “What?”

When he pulled away to look at her, he saw there was a small bruise left behind and he felt proud for a moment. He loved to leave a mark and planned on leaving as many as he could. But before he could continue, the main bathroom door opened abruptly and she jumped in his arms. He held her still, he could feel she was tense by the loud sound it had made.

“Hey, it’s alright.” He said quietly before returning to her neck. To be fair, he hadn’t kissed her lips yet but he still wasn’t done here. His eyebrows sharpened in irritation when a knock came to the door of the stall they were in and he pulled away.

“Someone’s in here.” He called, annoyance coating his tone.

“Kuroo?”

It was Akaashi.

Kuroo pulled away after leaving another apologetic kiss on her neck and went to crack the stall door open. His eyes met Akaashi’s. “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry to interrupt...” he said looking at the girl one time over. “But Bokuto isn’t feeling too well and we were planning on heading out.”

Kuroo sighed. He was supposed to be the one with the hall key responsibilities tonight, and if he didn’t go with them now... there was no telling that someone would be up and awake to let him back in the morning.  
  
It was only a big deal since they had an early class in just a few hours later that morning. He weighed out his options, but ultimately decided to do the responsible thing. “Just a sec, okay?”

Akaashi nodded. “We’ll be waiting for you outside.”

He turned back over to see — hell, he didn’t even know her name — her still sitting there, eyes still wide and mouth shut as her gaze fixated on her lap. She had her hands resting in between her thighs and Kuroo placed a hand on her knee.

“Sorry, but I gotta go. You wanna exchange numbers or something?”

The girl handed him her phone with shaky hands and he sent himself a text message.

“I’ll text you later, okay?”

She nodded at him quickly, lips moving to say something. “...I’m, uh... o-okay.“

Kuroo turned on his heel and left the bathroom. As they neared the exit of the bar, from the corner of his eye he could see her also leaving the bathroom. The experience was definitely different than he was used to, especially since he didn’t usually give out his number until he was sure he wanted to keep contact. But he definitely had a different feeling about this girl.

There were loads of people out and about for a Sunday night. It was nearly 2:30 in the morning when they got back into their dorm hall. Kuroo unlocked his and Bokuto’s dorm room and Akaashi brought him in to bed, the both of them collapsing on the small mattress.

“Night, Akaashi.” Kuroo called over with a little wave. Akaashi waved back, trapped under Bokuto’s weight. He had been sure to set an alarm for 7 a.m. before the room was filled with silence, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for stopping by! i wanted to touch on the topic of Kenma’s stutter before moving forward with the story And future chapters.  
> 1) i most likely won’t be touching upon the actual diagnosis kenma has, all we know is that he has a stutter. this could change in the future, but for now i am deciding not to mention it. i just want to let this be an easy read, since it’s just a fun little project i’ve been working on to get back into my writing. not trying to get too serious or technical here.  
> 2) i tried to do as much research as i could in regards to the process of Writing a stutter, since it is a new-ish style for me. with the research, i’ve tried to tie in some of my own experiences being around a family member who has stuttered their whole life (comments I’ve heard from others, how they looked/acted while trying to work through a sentence/word, how these interactions made them feel, etc.) so this is mainly based off of some research and personal experience. i’m in no way saying this is how the experience is for anyone else who may have a speech impediment! i don’t want to offend anyone in any way, shape, or form, just trying to tell a story.
> 
> there will also be slight themes of feminization which is due to the confusion of the characters, but it will be touched upon/addressed in later chapters. just wanted to note that it won’t be intentional on their part, and is in no way a fetish or something forced upon kenma. he expresses himself as he does, and likes what he likes. 
> 
> i do hope you enjoy the story though! if it’s not for you, i kindly ask that you click away and find something else to read.  
> i will only accept sweet kuroken vibes here ♡
> 
> p.s. eventual 18+ content, do what you will with that info.


	2. II. A Simple Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do I even say?” 
> 
> “What about a simple... hello?” 
> 
> Monday morning, fluffy pancakes, a rainy day spent in class, and a few text messages.  
> In this chapter, we get a tiny look at Kuroo’s background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you’re doing good today.  
> make sure to drink some water!  
> ♡ enjoy this chapter ♡

Morning came sooner than they expected.

“Noo,” Bokuto groaned as he stretched his arms out to try and grab Akaashi. He pouted when he didn’t find him in his usual spot.

Kuroo had been up for a few minutes already, just staring at the ceiling. He laughed at Bokuto and watched his friend grumble to himself before he pulled the covers back over his head. He was in denial, wallowing in the Monday morning blues.

Akaashi came back into the room, already dressed and ready to go for class. “Bo, you gotta get up.” He pulled the cover off of his boyfriend’s head.

Bokuto turned over and gave him a frown. “But I don’t wanna. It’s cold.”

Akaashi ruffled his hair and leaned in to leave a kiss on his forehead. “Get up, I’ll be in the kitchen with breakfast waiting. Kuroo, I made extra.”

Kuroo smiled. “Thanks, I’ll be over in a few.”

Bokuto rolled back over and faced the wall meanwhile Kuroo pulled his phone out to cancel the alarm before it could go off again. He went straight to his text messages, scrolling past all of the newly unopened texts he had in his inbox. He clicked on the one with the unknown number.

All he saw in the text thread was a single strawberry emoji. It was the text he had sent himself last night, to identify the girl... ironically, because she smelled like strawberries.

Kuroo had this way of coding people upon first meeting them. Usually it was based off of their appearance or something else noteworthy about them. It was rare for him to use their first names. That was partially because he could never remember, but more than often because he didn’t care to.

Eventually Kuroo found himself shutting the bathroom door behind him and got ready for the day. In the mirror, he looked at himself. His hair was messy like usual, and his eye bags were prominent from all of the late nights. He knew that he could be shallow sometimes, especially when it came to hookups.

It wasn’t like he was always this much of an asshole though, but somewhere along the way in high school... things had changed. It was probably as a result of his parents divorce or maybe repressed childhood trauma... or something like that. Akaashi was the one who had brought it up one time. He was kind of like the friend group’s therapist, and as a psychology major he had already read everyone in the group to filth — _including himself_. Most people would cringe at his boldness, but it was all good natured practice for Akaashi. 

Once Kuroo decided that his hair was not going to cooperate, like it never did, he left the bathroom and went straight to the kitchen where Akaashi was making French toast or, his favorite, fluffy pancakes. Kuroo sat down and wasn’t surprised when Akaashi walked over and set a green juice down in front of him.

“Thanks, ‘kaashi.”

Akaashi nodded, and returned to flipping his pancakes. “So, who was that you were with last night?”

Kuroo took a bite of pancake. “Oh. Just some girl.”

“Some girl.” Akaashi repeated, nodding his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her around before.”

Kuroo shrugged. “Yeah, same.” He shoveled the last of the pancake into his mouth and pulled his phone out. “She’s Strawberry to me.”

Akaashi laughed. He was obviously very familiar with his best friend’s shenanigans and situations. “ _Strawberry_? Why that?”

“She smelled like strawberries.”

“Doesn’t sound that bad. Definitely a step up from egg plant girl, or the kneeling emoji boy from a few months ago.”

Kuroo dropped his head into his hands. “Oh, god. Please don’t bring them up.”

Akaashi held his hands up in defense. “My bad, Kuroo.”

Bokuto walked into the kitchen at that time, fully dressed with his hair down and wet from the shower he just took. Even Kuroo could admit that his best friend was very attractive, with his hazel eyes and wide smile and athletic build.

“What’re we talking about?”

“None of your business.” Kuroo quickly teased. Bokuto hated being left out.

Bokuto’s rolled his eyes. “ _Oh-kay_.”

“Just kidding, man. I was talking with Akaashi about the girl from last night.”

Bokuto slid into the seat next to Kuroo and started eating his pancakes.

“Oh, how did that end up going? Did you fuck?”

Akaashi swatted Bokuto with his spatula. “Don’t be rude.”

“Sorry, baby.” Bokuto replied, syrup and butter dripping down the side of his mouth.

“No, we didn’t do that.” Kuroo recalled. “But I did get her number.”

“Did you text her?”

“Not yet.”

“ _Whaaat?_ That’s not like you.” Bokuto said loudly, sliding his plate to Akaashi for more. “You should totally text her, bro.”

“What do I even say?”

“What about a simple... hello?” Akaashi offered, plopping two more pancakes on Bokuto’s plate. Bo pulled the it back happily and smothered them in an ungodly amount of butter and syrup, licking his lips in over excitement.

“You think that’ll be alright?” Kuroo asked, looking down at the single strawberry emoji in the conversation. “You don’t think that would be weird?”

Akaashi laughed. “Well, it’s not really weird considering most flings start that way. It doesn’t always have to be about... sex, you know?”

“I mean, I guess so. But I’m not sure if I’m ready for that kind of commitment yet.” Kuroo chuckled.

“‘Kaashi just wants someone to hang out with at games, don’t take it too seriously, bro.” Bokuto added, finishing up his pancakes in record timing. He looked content.

Akaashi rolled his eyes. “It would be nice to have someone around here while you two are off galavanting. Someone I could to talk to about _Emily_ _in_ _Paris_. The season ended on such a weird note and-“

“Alright, alright. I’ll text her.” Kuroo typed a ‘hey’ and pressed send. “You happy?”

Akaashi smiled as he took off his apron, leaving the just washed dishes to dry. “Very much so.”

__

The three headed off to class. It was a windy day on campus. The leaves were blowing everywhere and the sky threatened to rain at any moment. They were lucky enough to be secure and safe in their seats before any such thing did happen though.

Kuroo sleepily glanced around the dimly lit room. Everyone else seemed to be in the same state of gloom as rain pattered against the windows of the classroom. The smell of petrichor flew in through the slightly open window in the corner as Kuroo let out a long yawn. He couldn’t help his wandering mind as it revisited the contrast between a cool glass bottle and the warm skin of someone’s waist. Unsurprisingly, Bokuto had to smack him to get his attention when roll call came around. Even though the professor had called his name two times, which should have been embarrassing, he returned to his thoughts anyway.

They were released from class early that day since it was the first week which usually only meant syllabus review. Bokuto and Akaashi headed back to the dorm for a much needed nap, while Kuroo took a walk around campus under the soft patting of the rain. The scent filled his lungs and he felt shocking good for being so tired earlier.

Kuroo’s phone chimed and he was very disappointed when he saw that it wasn’t from Strawberry. He didn’t really expect to be stood up like this, but he shrugged it off and ended up walking into the campus coffee shop.

There was a bit of a line forming so he spent the time scrolling on his phone while he waited. His social media feeds were full of the same old boring shit, so he just shut his phone off and watched the baristas working in the back. They seemed to be scrambling as they blended drinks and poured them in cups and called out names. They repeated the process until it was Kuroo’s turn.

“Hey, what can I get you?” The girl working asked him. Her voice was stable and calm, despite the rush they had just obviously had. 

“Uh... I’ll just do an iced coffee with salted caramel.”

She took his credit card and swiped it. “I love that one.”

“Caramel is my favorite.” Kuroo said back, making friendly conversation. He was the only one in line, so of course the girl took the time to talk with him too.

Kuroo could tell she was flirting with him, so he did the same. It was just something that came natural to him, despite the fact that he didn’t see this one really going anywhere beyond the moment.

After a few minutes, the second barista set his drink on the counter and rang the bell, even though Kuroo was standing right there.

“Well, thanks.” He said to the girl as he grabbed his drink. Before he got too far he turned back and put the drink on the counter. “I actually ordered this with some salted caramel on top, sorry.”

The girl practically stumbled back over, she was holding a stack of condiment containers in her arm. “Sorry about that. Hey Kenma, can you fix his drink?”

The other barista came from the little supply closet and grabbed the coffee wordlessly. Kuroo couldn’t really see his face because his visor was so low, but he didn’t think much of it. He stood there waiting patiently for his coffee to come back. He overheard the two baristas communicating on the side before the guy barista came back over.

“W-We’re out of, um, salted caramel.” He paused for a couple of breaths before continuing. “Is no-normal caramel f-fine?”

“Aw, damn.” Kuroo laughed. It was looking like today wasn’t his day. “That’s alright. Normal’s good.”

The barista went back to where the syrups were and he popped the lid off of the cup before pouring a good amount on the top of the coffee. He walked over and put the cup on the counter.

“Thank you!” Kuroo called over, quickly catching eyes with the barista who fixed his drink before he took the cup and walked away. When he thought about it... the barista looked kind of familiar, like he had seen him somewhere before. Maybe in a class from the previous semester or maybe here at the coffee shop. Who knew?

Kuroo went about the rest of his day unbothered. At about 6 p.m. another text chime came through on his phone. He flipped it over, and to his surprise it was Strawberry. Rarely ever did his heart race at something so small and insignificant, but there it was and he was happy about it.

A simple “hi.” He immediately started typing back.

 **K [6:02 p.m.]** : Sorry about the other night. My friends got kind of carried away lol.

 **S [6:03 p.m.]** : no don’t be sorry!

Kuroo wasn’t expecting the response to come so quickly, but he leaned back into his chair and began typing out his next reply.

 **K [6:05 p.m.]** : Did you wanna pick up where we left off?

 **S [6:08 p.m.]** : i have a few projects right now. but we can meet up soon :)

Kuroo knew when he was being blown off. Even though he usually got who and what he wanted, he was no stranger to the signs of someone just not being into him. For some reason this one stung because he hadn’t even done anything with this girl yet. So why? Why was it so different this time? Why was this one hurting his pride so much more? Most importantly, why did he care that she wasn’t into him? He had half a mind to just cut the whole thing off right then and ghost her, but another text came through.

 **S [6:09 p.m.]** : so, what’s your favorite dessert?

Was she serious? Dessert? He decided he’d play it coy.

 **K [6:10 p.m.]** : I really love strawberries...

 **S [6:12 p.m.]** : mmm. i like strawberries a lot too. i think they’re my favorite, second to apple pie though. and mochi!

 **K [6:12 p.m.]** : What kind of mochi do you like?

 **K [6:13 p.m.]** : Strawberry mochi?

 **S [6:14 p.m.]** : lol you got me

They spent the next few days on and off texting. Kuroo had learned that Strawberry was a year younger than he was, a graphic design student, and that she enjoyed video games. At least, he learned that from the photo she had sent of her expensive looking gaming set up. Apparently she still preferred handheld gaming to PC, he remembered for some reason.

Kuroo also learned that it was weird actually getting to know someone from scratch. The last time he got to know someone like that was when he met Akaashi.

Kuroo and Bokuto had known each other their whole lives until Akaashi came along during middle school. Even then it was hard for him to do, but he had to make it work since the other two instantly became attached at the hip. They were like soul mates or something.

Kuroo never really understood that concept until he watched it unfold right in front of him. He had never felt that kind of attachment to another person, so at first it was hard for him to go with it. Nevertheless, they were a package deal and Akaashi quickly became part of their group.

Other than Bokuto and Akaashi, he had a few friends but never anything that lasted. Some of the guys on the volleyball team were pretty cool, but they were in different classes than he was most of the time. That really left no time to hang out on the side, other than practice and games. Overall, it was kind of a routine for him to make friends out of convenience and then never really talk to them again.

Kuroo was used to people coming and going. From a young age he understood that not everyone would want to stick around. He learned that lesson when his parents split up. He thought his father was a coward for leaving him and his mother in the way that he did, but with passing time and growing up he understood that some things just were not meant to be. So, he knew how to let go... Maybe a little too well.

Because of his struggles with attachment, this thing with Strawberry felt new to him. For some reason, Strawberry kept texting and he kept responding. Normally, he was absolutely awful at keeping text conversations going. You could ask Bokuto or Akaashi, and they would say the same thing. That exact reason was what made the whole thing with Strawberry kind of weird.

Kuroo could feel himself opening up to Strawberry. Their conversations were mainly casual with a sprinkle of personal here and there. He hadn’t even learned her name yet, which was strange considering the fact that she seemed to know so much about him.

In hindsight, that fact would come to bite him in the ass.


	3. III. From the Stands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys playing volleyball. Late night text messages. Memories from the past. 
> 
> In this chapter, things start to take a turn. Tensions begin to rise as Kuroo questions everything.  
> TWs: Slight implications of childhood trauma(aka parents fighting), implied parental divorce, mentions of medication.  
> P.s. Kuroo might have a sock kink...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you came looking for smut... here, have a little bit *tosses glitter*

It was a Thursday evening when Kuroo received a message that made him start to question everything. He and Strawberry had been talking consistently for about a month now, to the point where they would always say good morning and good night. The two of them had this little routine going where their conversations would be peppered throughout the day, with no long breaks in between. To Kuroo, it was nice. Something to look forward to.

When The Text came in, Kuroo was on the university’s sports bus. The team was en route to an away game in a nearby prefecture. It was a highly anticipated game, one of those long and overdue kind of games against a rival university.

Kuroo was already on edge, even though Bokuto was confident that victory was in their cards. Bo’s infectious enthusiasm did not change the drop in his stomach when he read the text.

 **S [6:45 p.m.]** : good luck tonight! i’ll be there cheering you on in the stands :)

Normally he’d take pride in the fact that a girl was going to one of his games. That mere thought in the back of his mind usually made him play _so_ _much_ better, but he could not shake this newfound uneasiness.

From the seat behind him, Akaashi seemed to notice. He lightly pushed Bokuto against the window so he could continue sleeping and made his way out of the seat and into the spot next to Kuroo.

Kuroo turned to look at him, sitting there in Bokuto’s extra jersey pulled over a light grey hoodie. He looked so small in Bokuto’s clothes. Akaashi usually came to the games to support his boyfriend and the team. Kuroo thought it was sweet.

“Everything okay?”

“That’s the thing, ‘kaashi. I’m not sure.”

Akaashi’s eyebrows pinched together in concern. “What do you mean?”

There was really no way to try to hide it. It was really eating away at him.

“Strawberry is going to be at the game.”

Akaashi’s eyes popped. “Strawberry? As in...?”

“The girl from the bar bathroom.”

“Wow.” Akaashi said and sat back in the bus seat.

For a moment it felt like all eyes were on them, like all ears were listening to their conversation as the heat instantly rushed to Kuroo’s cheeks. Kuroo quirked a brow, trying to ward off the feeling as he lowered his voice. “What do you mean ‘wow’?”

“Just surprised is all.” Akaashi quietly said and took a moment. “Usually by this point you don’t talk to them anymore.”

“We didn’t have sex.”

Akaashi really had to take a moment for that. “ _Wow_. I didn’t know that.”

Kuroo buried his head in his hands, from embarrassment or shame or some other feeling he was not entirely sure of. He didn’t understand what was happening to him. Was this the start of his unraveling? No. It couldn’t be.

“I’m really freaking out, Akaashi.”

Akaashi’s surprised expression returned to that of the concerned and caring friend Kuroo was hoping for.

“Why do you think you feel that way?” 

Kuroo shrugged. “I’m not sure. I just... Don’t you think it’s weird that I know nothing about this girl? Yet here she is, showing up at one of my games.”

“Well, she goes to the school, right? Games aren’t exclusive.” Akaashi had his fingertip on his lower lip, eyes looking up in concentration. “Though, I do see your point. It _is_ an away game. Must take a dedicated fan to follow.”

“Yeah, I dunno. It’s just kind of weird. I’m not used to this.” Kuroo muttered lowly. His heart felt like it was in his stomach, barely beating. What was it that was making him feel this way? The consistency? The idea of someone new slowly creeping their way in? Whatever it was, Kuroo decided he did not want to like it.

“You’ll just have to play your best tonight then. How about it?” Akaashi smiled, giving him a thumbs up.

Kuroo nodded before letting his head fall on to Akaashi’s shoulder.

“Hey, ‘kaashi. You remember what she looked like, don’t you?”

“Kind of blonde hair, small, big eyes.”

“Would you try and find her in the stands for me?”

“I’ll try my best, Kuroo.” Akaashi reassured.

__

“Pass the ball to me!” Bokuto yelled as he swung his arms back before jumping in for another killer spike. The enemy blockers were on it and sent the ball flying back into their court.

“Mine!” Kuroo called out, pulling off a pretty risky dive to get the ball back up. There was enough momentum that the setter, Atsumu, was able to send another set to Bokuto.

With a loud grunt, Bokuto slammed the ball back into the enemy court and scored a massive point for the team. The crowd erupted in to a loud chant, praising Bokuto and the rest of the team for the play.

Kuroo glanced up at the stands like he had been for the first half of the game. He was on the lookout for Strawberry, though he was not trying to make it too obvious. As his eyes scanned, the crowd turned into a mess of faces. The people moved like static noise on a t.v. screen. There was no distinguishing their differences as they all phased into one entity, chanting excitedly and waving flags.

Kuroo’s gaze panned over to where he recognized one face. It was Akaashi, who was holding a #12 sign, cheering loudly for Bokuto. Yeah, there was no way that Akaashi was paying attention to anything other than Bo. He most likely wasn’t even thinking about Kuroo’s favor.

Of course Kuroo was up to serve in the next set. He bounced the ball a couple of times just before the whistle blew. He got a small run started before he went in for a jump serve. The ball floated for only a moment, then over the net before flying way out of bounds.

“Out!” An enemy player called before the referee could. Probably to spite him.

“Sorry!” He called out to his team, but mostly to Bokuto who was looking at him with slight worry. Bokuto knew when he wasn’t on his A game. Kuroo hated letting him down. 

Sadly, the rest of the game went the same way. Their team kept up as best as they could, but there were several close calls and small lapses in judgment. Their good plays just weren’t enough. It was a very close game, but they ended up losing the match.

Coach called everyone in for a group huddle. “Captain, you wanna say a few words?”

“We’ll get ‘em next time.” Bokuto said, trying to sound enthusiastic but the disappointment was clear in his voice.

From the opposite side of the huddle, Kuroo felt bad. Seeing his best friend so obviously bummed was sobering to him, and all of a sudden he dropped the stuff with Strawberry. If only he could have done that sooner, maybe things would have been different. 

A few minutes later, the group separated and they headed to the locker rooms.

“Hey, Bo, I’m sorry.” Kuroo said, walking next to his captain and best friend. “I don’t know what was going on with me but-”

“I heard you talking to Akaashi on the bus, bro.”

Kuroo turned his head slightly.

“Text her and tell her to meet up with us.” Bokuto paused to take a drink from his water bottle, while Kuroo stopped walking to fully look at him. “Akaashi and I were planning to grab some takeout from the food truck festival if it’s still going on later.”

Kuroo located his duffel and pulled out his phone. He contemplated it for a moment, ultimately deciding to follow his friend’s suggestion. 

**K [8:55 p.m.]** : Wanna get some food when we get back to campus?

 **K [8:56 p.m.]** : I know you’re probably gonna head home, but I was thinking it would be nice to hang out. Or something.

 **K [8:56 p.m.]** : Please?

Kuroo shucked his phone back into the duffel. However Strawberry decided to answer him was going to set the tone for the evening. Though he decided to stop thinking so much about it, he found himself crawling back to square one. He really just wanted someone in that moment.

Watching Akaashi and Bokuto snuggled up to each other on the ride back to campus made him crave that affection and touch. Again, he wasn’t sure why he thought of Strawberry in that moment... but he thought that he might have an answer. Even if it scared him, he had to face it at some point.

Kuroo was disappointed to see that Strawberry hadn’t texted him back when they got to campus. His head hung low as he walked back to his dorm, feeling defeated in more ways than one. Akaashi and Bokuto hadn’t even asked him if Strawberry said she would come, but he was sure they didn’t need to. They were usually more than capable of reading the room.

When Kuroo got back to his dorm, he took a lengthy shower. He made sure to give the hot water time to soothe his sore muscles. When he got out, he made instant noodles and watched one of his favorite anime series in the dark.

Kuroo wasn’t even ten minutes into the show before he ended up nodding off... for maybe more than a few hours.

__

“It really sucks that she wouldn’t come to see Kuroo.” Akaashi said, glancing at the taco truck in front of them. “He doesn’t even know her name. It’s so sad.”

Bokuto took a bite of the corn dog he had and nodded.

“I can’t even imagine how that must feel, you know?”

“Mhm.” Bokuto hummed.

“I’ll order the usual. Wait here, Bo.”

Akaashi went to order a couple of things off of the menu, while Bokuto sat somewhere behind on a bench. He couldn’t help but smile at Akaashi interacting with the workers.

Bokuto was so gone for Akaashi, it was almost embarrassing. In the beginning of their relationship, their friends thought that Akaashi was this cold and rigid shell of a person but Bokuto knew that they were wrong. From the time they first met, all those years ago, Bokuto could see that Akaashi had a beautiful soul.

Bokuto thought back to just a few hours ago on the bus, when Akaashi and Kuroo thought he was sleeping. Some part of him felt a little sad to be left out of their conversation, but the better part of him thought it was great that Kuroo could confide in Akaashi. In fact, it made him feel reassured that someone like Akaashi could pick up the pieces where he, himself, maybe couldn’t.

So, yeah, all Bokuto could do was smile.

“What’s that look for?” Akaashi came over to the bench with a tray of food.

“That was so fast!”

“Right? They look so good too.”

Bokuto licked his lips as he went in for the kill.

Akaashi smacked his hand. “Wait! They’re really hot, Bo.”

“You take such good care of me.” Bokuto swooned, leaning back with his arms crossed over his chest.

Akaashi blushed when he looked at his boyfriend. He shook his head as he laid out some napkins and plastic silverware. The tacos were steaming hot, but there was a breeze flowing in. When Akaashi thought they were at an acceptable temperature, he motioned to them.

Bokuto quickly dug in, still so hungry after such a hard game. He didn’t wait to swallow his food before speaking up again. “See, this is what Kuroo needs. Someone like you!”

“Like me?”

“Yeah.” He stuffed the remaining half of the tiny taco into his mouth. “Someone who’s nice and makes sure he’s good. He deserves someone good, Akaashi.”

“I agree.” Akaashi took a sip of lemonade and then patted his lips with a napkin. “I also think that maybe Kuroo has some maturing to do.”

“Oh?”

“Well, usually all he wants to do is mess around, you know?” Akaashi pointed out. “I mean, I’m not judging him or anything. I just think he wants so much more than he allows himself with all those meaningless hookups.”

Bokuto gave Akaashi a blank glance. It was like he understood, but didn’t quite follow.

“God, I love you.” Akaashi leaned in to lick a bit of salsa off the corner of Bokuto’s mouth. Bokuto jumped at the gesture. Even after all these years together, Akaashi could still surprise him like that.

“I love you too, ‘kaashi.” Bokuto hummed happily. “Hey, are you gonna finish that one?”

“It’s all yours.”

__

It was three thirty in the morning when Kuroo woke up from his nap. Everything was quiet and dark, except for the low purple glow coming from Bokuto’s LED lights.

Kuroo could see that Bokuto was knocked out in a deep sleep, facing the wall and snoring loudly. Kuroo didn’t mind the snoring. More often than not, he was comforted by it. He yawned and grabbed for his phone, unlocking it with squinted eyes.

There were a couple of notifications he had to go through. Among those were a few texts from Bokuto and Akaashi’s group chat asking if he wanted something from the food fair. He snorted when he read the final text from Bokuto.

 **B [10:32 p.m.]** : Alright, guess we’re just gonna get you a glizzy since you wont text us back!!! I know how much you love those.

Without responding, he closed the conversation and moved on to his other ones. There were some from the team’s group chat, a few from his mom, and finally three unopened messages from Strawberry. He rolled his eyes and shut his phone, tossing it to the end of his bed like he wasn’t interested.

Kuroo quickly rolled over to face the window next to his bed. The campus was empty except for a security guard walking around on his patrol. The leaves on the sidewalk behind the man seemed to move with him as a small gust of wind forced them to dance next to his feet.

Kuroo felt incredibly alone in that moment.

Though his best friend was sleeping just a few feet away, though the security guard was on patrol, and even though he had messages left unread in his phone, he couldn’t fight the feeling. All of a sudden he felt how he did on the night his dad left. He shut his eyes tightly as he brought his pillow over his head.

_Talking. Yelling. Screaming. Eight year old Kuroo could hear his parents from behind his closed bedroom door. The paper lantern on his nightstand spun slowly, casting uneven star shapes of light across his walls. They spun in circles each time he opened his eyes._

_“You don’t know what’s best for him!”_

_“And you do? I don’t care what that damn doctor said. Medicine will not fix this.”_

_“Honey, it’s not a solution. It’s temporary until we figure this thing out.”_

_“Look at you, talking like that shitty shrink.”_

_Kuroo could hear his mother sigh in defeat._

_“How else am I supposed to help him? What do you expect me to do? You barely even talk to your son!”_

_“I go to work to support this house. Don’t you dare forget that. Without me, we would have none of this.”_

_“...he needs his father.”_

_Silence. A door slamming. A car engine roaring to life. Kuroo was able to hear the sounds through his pillow. He pulled it off of his head, ran to where his window was, and looked out onto the driveway where he saw his father throwing a suitcase in the backseat._

_From behind him a wavering voice came._

_“Tetsurou? Honey, what are you doing awake?”_

Kuroo sat up in his bed, chest heaving with rough breaths. He looked around the room and felt relieved to see that everything was normal. Bokuto was snoring, the wind was whistling, the clock on the wall was ticking. He was at school, away from home. Things were fine. He was okay.

Kuroo scratched at the back of his head, messing his hair up even more before deciding to plop back down onto the bed. He spent a few moments trying to close his eyes and will himself back to sleep. That didn’t last long before curiosity got the better of him. He sat up once more and reached for his phone. Kuroo immediately went to Strawberry’s text conversation, opening it eagerly.

 **S [10:45 p.m.]** : hey i’m sorry i didn’t see this until i got home :( i would’ve totally come

 **S [10:45 p.m.]** : you there?

 **S [10:47 p.m.]** : anyway, you guys played really well. sucks that you didn’t win.

Lie. It was a lie. At this point Kuroo could tell that she really wasn’t interested in him. He wasn’t sure what kind of game she was set on playing, but he didn’t like feeling strung along like this. He had to do something about it... but before he could type out the message that would end it all, a new text came in.

 **S [3:32 a.m.]** : i can’t sleep even though i’m so tired.

Strawberry was still typing.

 **S [3:32 a.m.]** : i just wanted to say how good you looked in your uniform lol 

Kuroo’s eyes widened at that and the sensation quickly traveled down to the area in between his legs. Was he... getting hard? Now? He immediately locked his phone and rolled on to his back, looking up at the ceiling in embarrassment.

Another chime.

 **S [3:33 a.m.]** : and i wanted tell you that i couldn’t keep my eyes off of you the whole time

His dick began to throb in his pants and his hand slid down to rub at it with his palm. He couldn’t believe he was getting so turned on just by these texts. The thought of Strawberry watching him had a new meaning, one different than back at the game. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, thinking about kissing Strawberry’s neck in the bathroom. He thought about how much he wanted to do it again. His hand snuck under the waistband of his sweats and he started to touch himself slowly, noticing that Strawberry was still typing.

 **S [3:34 a.m.]** : i even bought some merch... it’s kind of big on me though

A photo came through showing Strawberry’s reflection in a mirror. She was sitting on her big gaming chair in her room with an oversized university volleyball hoodie on. Her soft looking thighs poked out from under the hoodie, and Kuroo instantly remembered the feeling of them wrapping around his waist in the bathroom that night at the bar. His dick began to leak precum and his cheeks flushed.

 _Fuck_. 

Kuroo groaned quietly as he took full hold of his aching dick now, pumping himself slowly to the picture. Her face wasn’t really in frame, but he could see her chin and the smallest bit of her bottom lip. God, he wanted to kiss those lips so badly. Just the thought of doing that made him ooze more as he picked up his speed.

Kuroo almost missed it, but he noticed that Strawberry was wearing these soft looking black knee socks. One look at them and it was over for him. He kept on stroking himself through it until he came embarrassingly quick, shooting up on the skin of his sun kissed tummy with a small whimper. His eyes shut and he let his head fall back once more.

Luckily Bokuto was still snoring on his side of the room. Kuroo had never been more thankful to have a heavy sleeper for a roommate. He let a loud sigh escape him as his heart rate calmed and a final text came through.

 **S [3:40 a.m.]** : sorry for the text bomb. anyway, sweet dreams Kuroo :)

Just who the hell did Strawberry think she was?

He wasn’t sure how to feel.


	4. IV. Don’t be late next time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introductions. A different POV. And, don’t you forget, Miya Atsumu is not a “labelist!”
> 
> In this chapter we dive a little deeper into Kenma’s past and meet some new characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy the chapter!  
> to anyone who’s left a comment or kudos on previous chapters, thank you.  
> p.s. i love stoner Suna so of course he had to make an appearance in this fic.

Kuroo didn’t reply the next morning. He didn’t even open the new message he had waiting from Strawberry. It most likely said _good morning_ but after the way last night went, Kuroo decided it was anything but that. He was set on pretending it didn’t happen.

So, with that, he went about his morning routine like a zombie, like he was in auto pilot. Somehow he managed to make it through their early morning class, then to the coffee shop, and eventually to his usual seat in the back of his advertisement class. Since he was getting a degree in business, they required classes on advertisement and communication.

Kuroo felt like most of the projects in the class were straight forward, so he spent most of the time on his laptop browsing through various websites instead of paying attention.

Besides, he noticed that the class was mainly made up of students from different programs. Like from the arts and graphic design programs. While he was just there to fulfill a credit requirement, those students actually took the class seriously. Sometimes he would perk up but more often than not, he drifted off into elsewhere.

Today was different though.

The professor stood at the front of the class and talked about a group presentation she was assigning. It was going to be a Big Project that would make up a majority of the grade for the first half of the semester at least. Kuroo’s ears finally tuned in at that, especially when his name was one of the first called.

“ _Group A_ will be Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu, Kozume Kenma, and Suna Rintarou. You will be the first group to present as well.” She said, writing their names on the whiteboard. “Now class, once I assign your groups, please sit together. This is how the remainder of classes will be until the presentations are over.”

A majority of the class groaned as she finished announcing the final group because that meant they all had to move seats. Kuroo didn’t think much of it as he gathered his things and glanced around the room for his new spot. Other than Atsumu, who was also on the team, he didn’t know anyone from their group.

Kuroo walked over to where Miya Atsumu was sitting, obviously refusing to move, with that shit eating grin plastered on his face. Kuroo wanted to smack it off him.

The two had gotten into a few arguments in the past, especially involving Bokuto. Atsumu was the setter, so sometimes that meant he and Bokuto would clash. Luckily, Kuroo was always there to help calm the situation down. Other than those small interactions though, Atsumu was an alright guy.

“Miya, always nice to see you.” Kuroo said as he sat down across from him.

Atsumu nodded at him, looking at something on his phone. “Pleasure’s all mine, Kuroo.”

A tall guy with a soft, sleepy expression walked over at sat down across from Kuroo. He set his bag on the table next to an unbothered Atsumu.

Kuroo waved to him. “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Hey, call me Suna.” He replied, reaching over to shake Kuroo’s hand.

“Guess we’re just waiting on one more then?” Atsumu yawned. “Don’t think I know the guy. Do you guys?”

Kuroo shook his head, though the name sounded sort of familiar.

“I think he’s a graphic design student.” Suna tacked on. “I’m a double major. Graphic design and animation, so I think I’ve had him in a few classes. But, now that I’m looking, I don’t see him here today.”

“Well that’s just great.” Atsumu deadpanned. “We’ve got a truant.”

“Lay off, Miya.” Kuroo rolled his eyes.

“He’s not one to miss classes usually.” Suna offered, pulling a pair of glasses on so he could properly read the paper in front of him. “I’m a little high right now, guys. Sorry.”

Kuroo laughed at his honestly. “No worries, no worries.”

Suna licked his finger so he could turn a page of the syllabus that was stuck to the others. “I promise I’m not one of those stoners that slacks off. I’ll get the work done.” 

“Not like Miya here. He sucks.” Kuroo said, poking his tongue out at him. “Doesn’t even have to smoke to do that though.” 

Atsumu glared at Kuroo. “Can’t smoke while in volleyball.”

Suna looked surprised, but not shocked. “Sounds pretty strict.”

Suna and Atsumu faded into a conversation of their own. Kuroo could tell that they knew each other. Maybe from high school? Either way, the conversation had nothing to do with the group project so he zoned out again. He thought about how his coffee was almost gone, yet he still felt so exhausted and drained.

Sometimes when his brain went down the painful paths of his past, like last night, he found it hard to come back from. When he was a kid, his parents and doctors called it a trance. The trances happened a lot more when he was a kid and through his teens, but every now and then they would creep up on him again — usually after a really stressful situation. Yesterday was hard, so it’s no surprise he went there.

Everyone in the class room jumped when the door opened and a gust of wind caused it to slam against the brick wall. It was loud and there was not one person who wasn’t looking for the source of the disruption. There, standing with a shocked expression, was an obviously late student.

“Kozume, nice of you to join us.” The professor called. “We’re doing group projects today. I have you with...” She glanced at the board. “ _Group A_. Find your new seat, please.”

Kuroo turned to look at Kozume. This was the last part of their group? Something about Kozume was oddly familiar, aside of the name. Kuroo couldn’t quite pin it, but something told him they had met before.

 _Ah, yes!_ Kozume worked at the coffee shop. He had literally just made Kuroo’s coffee before class. Kozume also appeared to have his work visor and apron hanging off of his arm, the other carrying a heavy looking tote bag.

“Hey, Kozume! We’re over here.” Kuroo called out with a friendly smile, waving the small guy down. He was usually good at being _that_ person. The nice guy who got along with everyone and made you feel welcome.

Kozume seemed to freeze in his tracks, standing there looking at Kuroo with wide eyes.

“Did I say something rude?” Kuroo whispered to his table. “It is Kozume, right?”

Before anyone could answer him, they all watched Kozume scurry over to the table as fast as his short legs would take him. He fell into the only seat that was available — a.k.a. the one next to Kuroo.

Kuroo didn’t look at Kozume very much during the rest of class since he was sitting to his side and not across from him. Kozume was also pretty quiet as Suna and Kuroo did most of the talking about the project. Atsumu remained on his phone the whole time.

But finally, at the end of class, Kuroo turned over to introduce himself.

“Hey, I’m Kuroo Tetsurou.” He held out his hand.

Kozume looked up at him, an unreadable expression on his face, and took Kuroo’s hand and shook it softly. It was a weird interaction, and almost made Kuroo feel uncomfortable. What was this guy’s problem?

“N-Nice to meet you. Um, my na-name is Kozume... Kenma.” He replied, in one of the softest voices Kuroo had ever heard, biting his lip for a brief moment. “You can call m-me Kenma.” 

“Cool.” Kuroo nodded with a tight lipped smile. “So, guys, should we all exchange numbers then? That would probably be the easiest way to work on this shit.”

Suna agreed and pulled his phone out. He took down Kuroo’s number, then Kenma’s, and finally Atsumu’s. “I can send a group text.”

“Wait. Don’t you guys have any apps? Like snap or something else? I rarely check my texts.” Atsumu shrugged, like it was something not worth his time. 

Suna looked down at his phone, tapping away at the screen.

“I mean, I guess that wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

Kenma had a confused expression on his face. “S-snap?”

“Snapchat.” Atsumu glanced at him, amused. In fact, he looked tickled pink that Kenma didn’t know what that was. Poor Kenma probably had no idea that Atsumu found that funny. “It’s an app.”

“Oh, um. I do-don’t think I have it.” Kenma replied as he scrolled on his phone. Kuroo noticed a kitty phone charm with a bell dangling from his phone, making the softest sounds whenever Kenma moved. “I-I can g-get it.”

Kuroo shrugged. “Well, I don’t really care what we use.”

Suna nodded. “Okay, since I have all of your numbers now I’ll just search you up and add you to a group snapchat then. Sound good?”

They all seemed to agree with the plan. Just in the nick of time, the professor made some final announcements and dismissed class. The tense air in the room immediately went away as everyone returned to their friends and could finally escape the dingy little classroom for the day.

Kenma was the first to get up from the table.

“O-Okay, I gotta- um, go.” He said, grabbing his things before taking off in a hurry.

Kenma left no evidence that he was ever there. Kuroo had noticed earlier that Kenma faded into the background a lot. He thought that maybe it was something Kenma was used to, though Kuroo also saw a few moments where it seemed like he wanted to add something to the conversation. Of course he just never did.

“What is up with him?” Atsumu asked with a quirked brow. “He’s kinda sus.”

“What do you mean?” Followed Suna, while Kuroo sat there listening.

“He talks like he’s nervous or something — and why the hell did he just take off like that?!”

“Are you talking about his stutter? Because I don’t think that’s _sus_ or weird at all.” Suna said bluntly. Kuroo could tell that Suna wasn’t playing around, sitting there ready to combat any weird comments. He could also tell that they definitely knew each other from before this class.

“ _Oh_ , is that what it is?” Atsumu scrolled on his phone, to avoid eye contact. “I mean it’s not weird, I just think he’s kind of weird. I’m not labelist.”

“Do you mean _ableist_?” Kuroo added with a chuckle.

“Yeah, that.” Atsumu said. “Whatever.”

Suna shook his head at Atsumu. “I’ve only had a few classes with him. He usually doesn’t talk that much. Kind of a sit in the corner, quiet type guy, you know? But he always seems pretty dedicated to his projects. Focused.”

“I don’t give a shit as long as he doesn’t tank our grade.” Atsumu said, followed with a shrug as he leaned back in his chair. 

“ _Jesus_.” Kuroo groaned, letting his head fall on the table with a soft thump. “You’re a dick.”

—

Kuroo was eager to get back to his dorm for a much needed nap.

During the first couple of minutes of his walk, he thought about the interaction with Kozume... or rather, Kenma. Kuroo definitely didn’t think having a stutter was something to receive pity for, but he could only imagine that sometimes it must be hard to deal with. Especially on days like today with a new group project, or arriving to class late. Kuroo had never met someone who had a speech impediment, so it was something for him to take in.

Other than that, Kenma had this look on his face that Kuroo couldn’t shake from his mind. Several times in the short sitting, it was like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. Maybe Kuroo was reading into it a bit too much, like he always did, but in a weird way he felt like he could relate — even more so after listening to Atsumu talk about Kenma.

People saw him a certain way too, probably. In high school there were a few instances where his name was on people’s mouths. They called him a player, which was far from the truth at the time. He couldn’t say the same thing was true when he got to college though. But... Why did it have to be anyone else’s business? Why did it matter so much to them? He didn’t get it. 

Kuroo turned a corner and stepped to the side so a couple of girls could pass him up. His all black converse hit the sidewalk again and he kept walking. He wondered for a moment... What did people have to say about him when he left a room? The girls in front of him laughed loudly and caught his attention.

Kuroo sighed and, in that moment, he wondered where Strawberry was as he navigated the campus green. It was a nicer day and people were littered all over the grassy area with their picnic blankets. This whole time, Strawberry could’ve been right in front of him and he wouldn’t have known. 

What Kuroo did know was that he didn’t like to stand out for the wrong reasons, so he felt that was why he could empathize with Kenma. Of course, he would or could never fully understand his struggle.

There was a shitty part of him that was relieved he didn’t have to. Did that make him an asshole? Or just a regular human being with his own unchecked insecurities and flaws? He realized that there was a very distinct difference between something you can’t control and something you can. So... maybe Kuroo was a piece of shit, after all? He laughed to himself at the thought. 

To reach his dorm, he had to cross over a nearby parking lot where he saw someone struggling to put some pretty hefty looking technology into their car. Kuroo approached slowly and called out gently.

“Hey, do you need help with that?”

The person turned around quickly and he noticed it was Kenma from class.

“Oh, it’s you!” Kuroo exclaimed in surprise, as if he wasn’t just thinking about the guy. He thought his own tone sounded kind of guilty, feeling as if Kozume could read his mind. “Kozume, right?”

“It’s K-Kenma.” He offered awkwardly, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. It was almost mischievous. “Kuroo, right?”

Kuroo flashed him an amused smirk. “That’s me. Anyway, need some help?”

Kenma nodded shyly and rotated his body so Kuroo could squeeze in between him and the open car door. It was an awkward fit, but Kuroo made it work and managed to fit both of the large monitors in the back of the small black car.

Kuroo finished up the job by shutting the door, turning around to see Kenma standing there with those signature wide eyes. “I think that should do it.”

Kenma blinked a couple of times, incredulous. “Th-thanks.”

“Anytime. I’ll see you in class, alright?” Kuroo smiled, before turning and starting to walk off. He shot a wave back at Kenma. “Don’t be late next time!”

Kenma nodded and waved, still standing there in the same spot as he watched Kuroo walk away.

—

Kenma got in his car and shut the door quickly. He let out a long sigh, suddenly hit with the realization that Kuroo... somehow... didn’t know who he was. It was a weird feeling, considering what went down between them.

Kenma had definitely tried to ask him if he remembered him in the bar bathroom, but it was useless since he kept getting stuck on his words as Kuroo kissed down his neck. A chill ran up Kenma’s spine as he thought to himself.

The club was dark. So, maybe Kuroo just didn’t get a good look at him? Maybe. Or it was one of the many drinks Kuroo had. Either way, Kenma wasn’t sure which idea made him feel better about the situation. No one wants to be forgotten.

Kenma ran his fingers over the skin of his neck, like he had done on the way home that night. The mark Kuroo left behind was barely visible now, but he wouldn’t forget where those lips and teeth had been.

It made Kenma’s heart race to not only see his high school crush at the bar, but to end up so close to him in the bathroom like he had dreamed of ever since the first time he saw him. For days after, he could still smell Kuroo’s cologne on his jacket. He was sad when he had to do his laundry, but _oh_ how he loved it while it lasted.

Kenma could see Kuroo still walking in the distance through his rear view mirror and with that sight came a familiar sinking feeling inside his tummy.

Kuroo really didn’t remember him.

Kenma shook his head, put the car into drive, and headed toward his house.

Kenma’s thoughts wandered back into the past a little bit, reminiscing on his days in high school. He was a first year when he first saw Kuroo. As the captain of their school’s volleyball team, he was hard to miss. Especially since Kenma wanted to go to the tryouts but only made it to the outside of the gym, where he stood on his tiptoes to peek in through the window.

There Kuroo was. Tall, built, olive complected, with a wide grin and that messy black hair. Kuroo had been talking to the team about how tryouts were going to go and Kenma’s eyes widened as he watched him run and move across the court. He was instantly captivated by the sight.

That same night he logged on to his social media accounts to look the captain up and eventually he found him. Kuroo Tetsurou. He was a year older and had no idea Kenma existed. Kuroo seemed to have a full life, while Kenma ached to know him. 

As the years of high school passed, Kenma spent a lot of his time watching Kuroo online. Since that was the only way he would get to know the captain, he mainly followed him through his public instagram. He felt lucky in a weird way, like he had enough. Though some might have said he was weird for that, Kenma didn’t care.

This whole thing made for an interesting way to get to know someone though — and Kenma went through all the emotions. He felt happy when he would see cute pictures and felt jealous when Kuroo would post some with pretty girls at school. They were lucky they got to be so close to him, Kenma thought.

Kenma had only ever dreamed of being like that with his... _crush_. Eventually, he acknowledged his own feelings when he realized that being Kuroo’s friend mattered a lot less than the idea of holding his hand.

Kenma never felt like there was time for them. They didn’t have any classes together, and since Kenma didn’t go for the team there were no chances to see him in person. To top it off, Kuroo was a year older and in advanced classes. That meant that not only was Kuroo nice to look at, but he was also incredibly smart. Kenma, on the other hand, was also smart but had separate classes that were geared toward speech therapy. So, obviously, things couldn’t transpire there.

It seemed like most things were working against Kenma when it came to Kuroo. That’s why his only devices were online creeping and volleyball games every Friday night. Somehow, without ever saying a word to Kuroo, it was enough.

Like all things, high school ended.

Kenma applied to college early and got in. The offer he ended up accepting was for was a small, prestigious school. His grades made the cut and they were excited to have him, which was new for him.

A while after that, Kenma saw that Kuroo also got accepted to the same university with a sports scholarship. His heart raced at the thought of going to the same school as Kuroo again. He always thought that they would go their separate ways and eventually Kenma would forget about his silly little infatuation. At the time it seemed like fate had different plans for them.

When it was finally Kenma’s first year in college, he didn’t see Kuroo around much at all.

Kenma figured that Kuroo was already settled in, being a second year in college already. Other than that, the truth was that Kenma had a lot of adapting to do since college was way different than high school. In college, there were no separated classes, no special treatment, and he found that had to advocate a lot for himself when it came to his stutter. Toward the end, he was glad to have made it through his first year.

It came as a shock to him when, on the night before his second was to start, he saw Kuroo there in the bar. As he sat on the other side, he couldn’t shake the feeling that everything had lead up to that moment. It called his name and he couldn’t look away. Literally.

Kenma noticed that Kuroo’s friends caught sight of him, but not even that could deter his gaze. He hadn’t physically seen Kuroo in such a long time. Other than on his socials every now and then, of course. Even then, it was like Kenma had given up on the idea, taken a break, since things had become so different than what they used to be. 

Kenma no longer had the time to be watching Kuroo from afar, since his life was happening right in front of him. He was growing up and becoming a different person than who he used to be... or so he thought. But this... this moment came to him like a volleyball to the face, spiked by his dream boy.

Not knowing what to do, he ran off to the bathroom because he felt the need to hide away after Kuroo looked at him. Did he recognize him? Was he angry that he was staring? Kenma didn’t even know if Kuroo was like that. Gay, or whatever.

The panic set in and he took off to the one place where he knew would be safe, cursing himself for making the effort to _be_ normal and _do_ normal college kid things. If only he had stayed home, he thought. With his hands shaking and knees threatening to buckle, all he could do was wish to be elsewhere.

Then the bathroom door opened and Kuroo Tetsurou was standing right there.

Kuroo had this look on his face and Kenma froze like a deer in the headlights. His eyes were wide but he nodded when Kuroo bit his lip. _Oh god_ , he had no idea what he was getting himself into. Was Kuroo going to hit him? Was he going to tell him to fuck off?

At that point anything was a possibility, but he definitely had no complaints when Kuroo towered over him and backed Kenma into an empty stall.

Kenma’s heart raced as his neck was devoured and his dreams were starting to come true, like a cliché early 2000s movie. In this one, he was getting his dream boy and everything felt so right. He really wanted to say something to Kuroo. It felt so good to think that maybe all along, Kuroo knew who he was too. He wanted to say _you remember me_.

But fuck. Kenma’s tongue was so heavy and his brain stalled, far too focused on tongue and teeth against his pulse point. He was nervous, he was in bliss, he was terrified of doing the wrong thing since no one had ever been so close to him before. He felt drunk on the feeling and then... it was over.

It was time to wake up when someone came to take Kuroo away.

Kenma was left in the stall, heart still racing and a tempo beating in every other part of his body. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, and he walked over to the sink to splash cold water on his face.

After a few moments, he left the bathroom and the bar altogether. Sadly, the dream left when Kuroo did. All that lingered was the tiniest bit of hope because maybe, just maybe... there was a chance. 

In the present, the drive home was only about fifteen minutes from campus. Kenma could have walked to school like he usually did but, of course, he had to pick up those god forsaken monitors. They were heavy and big. He wondered how the hell he was going to get them out of his car without someone like Kuroo to help. He eventually decided that he would deal with them later. 

When Kenma got into the house, he greeted his cat before kicking his shoes off and heading straight for his room. The only thing that was on his mind was gaming as he walked up the stairs. In his room, he tossed his tote bag on the ground and threw himself onto his gaming chair.

The large chair was so comfy compared to the ones at school, so it felt like he could finally relax. He leaned forward and powered on his setup so he could play some games and then maybe work on stuff for school. Truth be told, he was actually kind of anxious to start the group project for class.

Once again, he thought about how odd it was that Kuroo didn’t at least recognize him in class. Those honey brown eyes didn’t even spare him a second glance while they were sitting there. Was Kuroo... ashamed of him? Did he just want to forget what happened in the bathroom and call it a day? Was it because he didn’t know Kenma had a stutter?

No. The Kuroo he knew wasn’t like that. Right?

Panic coursed through his veins as his mind raced. He didn’t want to be pushed to the side and forgotten. Maybe they could talk about it. Maybe not. Who knew?

Kenma unlocked his phone and glanced at the text conversation with Kuroo, who still hadn’t replied to his messages from last night or this morning. He cringed as he scrolled past the photo he sent. He wasn’t sure why he felt compelled to do it, but there was a little part of him that didn’t totally hate it.

So now, the question was... Did Kuroo really not know who he was? Was this silent treatment Kuroo’s way of saying he found out and didn’t want to talk anymore? Kenma trembled and shut his phone off before tossing it onto his bed behind him. He pressed his hands against his forehead and wondered for a moment if Kuroo even cared.

They had been texting for over a month now, and Kuroo never even bothered to ask his name. Thinking about it now, Kenma thought it was strange. What type of person doesn’t ask a simple question like that?

Kenma knew that Kuroo was kind of a get around type guy. He never felt the need to judge him for it, even though it made him incredibly jealous in the past. Who knows, maybe it still did. Nevertheless, he knew that Kuroo could be a player. Fuck, maybe he was getting played. Probably not. He wasn’t worth all that trouble. Hell, he most likely wasn’t even Kuroo’s type! 

The night at the bar flashed back into his mind.

“Ugh!” Kenma exclaimed, pushing off of his desk with his foot to send him spinning in his chair. Why the hell did everything have to be so confusing? Kuroo probably didn’t give a shit anyway. At least, that was the vibe Kenma got sitting next to him in class.

Earlier in person, Kuroo seemed like a really cool guy. A straight guy, but a cool guy. Definitely with way too much on his plate for Kenma to even be a small star in his universe.

More questions filled Kenma’s brain. Why would he give some random person, who he didn’t even know the name of, so much of his time? Why did they have so many conversations about life and themselves if he didn’t want something more?

Kenma suddenly felt extremely nervous at the idea of bringing anything up. He wasn’t a fan of confrontation, but he also desperately needed to know what was going on between them. Sadly, that meant that he couldn’t keep on living in this perfect little illusion where Kuroo knew nothing about him — at least, not if things were going to go further.

None of it made any sense.

Kenma shook his head to knock himself out of it and pulled his headset on so he could immerse himself into video games like usual. They were his only escape from reality. In games, none of this mattered. Part of him wished it would stay like that, but it seemed like things were only going to get a lot more complicated.


	5. V. Player One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats. Video games. Insecurities. 
> 
> Work on the group project starts, while Kuroo and Kenma get to know each other — thanks to some “suspicious substances.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> strawberry kenma spotify playlist you ask?  
> [strawberry soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2y1mZp013y0U5WM5ZZ4Qyc?si=NAJCnEMvQ5SWA5Ro_5KSMg)  
> (p.s. listen to the tracks in order for the full experience 🍓)

**S [12:03 p.m.]: why do you talk to me?**

The text came a few days later. Kuroo was working on chemistry homework in his room, meanwhile Bokuto had decided to go down the hall to Akaashi’s. The rain was patting gently against his window. He found it hard to focus that day, since he was just so distracted. Staying on task was becoming a challenge.

Kuroo returned his gaze to the message. He still hadn’t even responded to the messages from the other night, which he deleted, because he wasn’t sure what to say. So, it was awkward to see such a bold question sitting right in front of him.

Why did he talk to Strawberry? That was a question he wasn’t even sure he knew the answer to himself. On one hand, it was nice to be able to talk to someone on a deeper level... other than his two friends. Bokuto and Akaashi were great, but with Strawberry it was just different. They could spend hours texting about one topic and then jump on to another without a problem. Everything flowed between them and it felt easy.

**K [12:05 p.m.]: I’m not sure. You’re just cool I guess.**

It wasn’t a very good explanation at all, but it was the best he could come up with.

**S [12:05 p.m.]: you think i’m cool?**

**K [12:06 p.m.]: Yeah I do**

**S [12:08 p.m.]: you barely know me.**

Kuroo’s eyebrows furrowed.

Where was this coming from all of a sudden? While it was true that he didn’t know much about Strawberry, he didn’t think of it that way. He genuinely thought that they were on the same page. What more did she want from him?

Was Kuroo so shallow that he failed to see how Strawberry might have been feeling this whole time? No, that couldn’t be it. Kuroo was the one who had invited Strawberry to go out with them multiple times. He was the one always asking to meet up. _He_ had been the one trying to make an effort here. It made him think.

What was Strawberry doing to become closer? Other than driving him crazy?

**K [12:11 p.m.]: I’m trying**

**K [12:12 p.m.]: It just doesn’t seem like you want that.**

Strawberry didn’t reply.

So, there it was. He had his answer.

The next few days passed slowly as Kuroo’s irritation grew. He felt on edge about the whole thing. On Monday, he sat in class quietly, headphones in as people around him shuffled and gathered in their groups.

“You listening, Kuroo?” Atsumu mouthed from across the table.

Kuroo pulled his headphones out and set them off to the side. “What now?”

“We need supplies.” Atsumu repeated, something he had clearly said while Kuroo was zoned out.

“Yeah, we’re gonna need quite a few things. Poster paper, glue, and a bunch of crap I don’t have.” Suna read off of a list. Apparently they had to make a good old fashioned poster board like when they were kids at the science fair.

“The prof wants a physical to display for some event after we present.” Atsumu shrugged, not caring about the people at a nearby table listening to him. “They’re all probably gonna look like shit anyway.”

Kenma sat quietly next to Kuroo, breath coming in every now and then. Kuroo would have thought that Kenma was upset about something if he didn’t almost always have that blank expression on his face. Of course he hardly knew anything about him, but he seemed down today.

“Does anyone have any of these supplies?” Suna asked before passing the paper around.

Kuroo shook his head no.

Kenma took the paper and scanned it. “Same.”

Suna typed something into Google and turned his laptop around for everyone to see. “The nearest craft store is like... thirty minutes away. Does anyone have a car?”

Atsumu shook his head, and so did Kuroo.

“Wait, Kenma, don’t you have a car?” Kuroo asked, remembering when he helped Kenma out with the monitors that other time.

Kenma’s eyes widened. “Um, I... Y-Yeah...”

“Cool. Kenma can take us then.” Atsumu decided.

Suna nodded. “If it’s alright with you, of course, Kenma.”

Kenma didn’t really see why not, so he hummed in agreement.

“We can all pitch in for gas money.” Suna said, earning a single nod from Kuroo. “Is there a day that works best for everyone?”

After talking it out for a couple of minutes, everyone came to the agreement that the following Saturday would work for them. Kuroo didn’t even know if he had plans that day, but whatever. It was fine. He was over it.

“Cool.” Kuroo thought out loud.

“Would you guys want to get together after class to do some game planning?” Asked Suna. Kuroo was surprised at how on top of things he seemed to be, despite the fact that he didn’t come off that way upon first meeting him... though, he did say that he wasn’t a slacker. No matter, Kuroo was glad that someone was taking the role of the leader since he couldn’t be bothered.

Atsumu’s face contorted for a moment before his mouth fell into an ‘O’ shape. “You’re serious? Like today, today?”

“Yeah, why not? The sooner we get this done, the better.”

“I’m in.” Kuroo added, having nothing else going on for the rest of the day. “I will say that my dorm is off limits because one of my hall mates got caught with suspicious _substances_ in his room, so they gotta inspect the whole hall now.”

“Suspicious substances?” Suna smirked. “And he got caught? What a sucker.”

They all laughed at that except for Kenma, who seemed genuinely confused.

“Don’t worry, Kenma.” Atsumu reached over to pat his shoulder. “You’ll be alright.”

“I...” Kenma started but stopped, cheeks going pink with embarrassment.

“And our RA is weird about guests. If that weren’t the case, I’d say that you guys could come to our hall but... yeah, that’s a no go.” Suna motioned between himself and Atsumu, indicating that they shared a living space. 

“Yeah, Sakusa wouldn’t like that. He’s bad with germs.” Atsumu said with a nonchalant shrug. “Weirdo.”

The four sat in silence for a moment, contemplating what to do.

“Kenma, what about your place?” Kuroo asked. He realized that he was putting Kenma on the spot a lot, but it wasn’t coming from a bad place. 

Kenma sat up and cleared his throat before beginning to speak. “I d-don’t think it would b-be...”

Suna caught on to his hesitation first. “I’m sure it’s fine, Kenma. Anywhere is better than nowhere. Only if you want to though.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that at all actually. It might be nice to get off campus for a bit.” Kuroo tacked on, giving Kenma a soft expression to try and make him feel comfortable.

“No pressure, Kenma.” Atsumu asserted, always needing to add some sort of commentary.

“Okay.” Kenma finally said, trailing off as the conversation at the table picked back up. Kuroo smiled at him to show his support, but Kenma didn’t maintain eye contact with him for very long. All he could do was shrug and return to his zoned out state until class was finally over.

A little while after classes ended, the three met up with Kenma and followed him to his house. Since Kenma had walked to the campus that day, he didn’t have his car. None of them seemed to mind though.

It was a nice day, despite the rain that fell earlier, so Kuroo felt more than happy to be out and about. The fresh air filled his lungs and took his mind away from the things bothering him.

At some point Atsumu pointed at a graffiti drawing of a penis on the sidewalk and they all laughed when Suna pointed out that it was _actually_ supposed to be a rocket ship. Apparently, it was a signature symbol for a local artist. Atsumu didn’t care and still swore that it was a dick.

In the end, Suna and Atsumu agreed to disagree that it was a _rocket-dick_... even though they all knew who was actually right.

The walk wasn’t very long at all, and other than the _rocket-dick_ they encountered several cats on the way. Kuroo bent over to pet and praise each one, while Kenma told their names. Since they were neighborhood cats, he knew them all pretty well.

“Whoa, watch out! That one looks feral.” Atsumu pointed toward Kenma, who turned around to look behind him.

“Wha- Where?”

“I’m talking ‘bout you!” Atsumu snickered. He was still pointing at Kenma, obviously insinuating that Kenma was like a feral cat. Kuroo could guess why.

Suna deadpanned, Kuroo bit his lip in cringe, and Kenma? Well, Kenma erupted into a small fit of laughter. Everyone was stunned at the sound and the sight of Kenma letting loose.

Atsumu stood there with wide eyes. He shared an amused look with Suna and Kuroo before returning to Kenma. “It wasn’t _that_ funny, bro. You good?”

Kenma stopped laughing immediately, face turning to stone. “Y-You’re right.” He said before beginning to walk off. “It- it wasn’t.”

“Ouch!” Atsumu yelped in mock hurt. “Who knew Kozume was so mean!”

After exchanging a silly look, Kuroo and Suna followed the other two.

The group finally ended up in front of a two story house with green ivy consuming most of the front, except for a brown door. Kenma pointed at it. 

“Th-that’s mine. I have to, um, d-do...“ Kenma paused after getting stuck on the last word for about fifteen seconds before becoming silent.

Kuroo’s eyes softened, narrowing as he watched the way Kenma’s cheeks flushed a deep red and his eyes scrunched closed. Kenma shook his head multiple times. He looked frustrated with himself, standing there with his fists balled at his sides. Kuroo felt bad as he stood there with no way to help. Could he even help? Things had been going so well, he hoped that Kenma wouldn’t crawl back into his shell now.

It was unfortunate but Kuroo imagined that Kenma was used to this by now. For Kuroo, though, it was something he wasn’t at all accustomed to. This was the first time Kenma really struggled in front of the group. He could see that Kenma was obviously irritated, almost like he had been waiting for the moment to come — for the ball to drop.

Kuroo never knew someone with a speech impediment before so it was hard for him to watch the pained look in Kenma’s eyes as he kept trying, still getting stuck on the same sounds a few more times. Start and stop, over again until someone or something stepped in.

“Do something?” Atsumu suggested, somewhat bluntly but definitely not of malice.

Kuroo couldn’t tell if Kenma looked defeated or relieved at the finishing of his sentence, but Kenma nodded in agreement to Atsumu’s words.

“B-Be back, okay?”

“We’ll be here.” Suna called out reassuringly as Kenma took off for the front door of his home. He used a card key to gain entrance just before disappearing in to the house.

The three of them stood out there awkwardly, waiting. They didn’t talk about what had just happened, unlike that first day as Group A in class. Kuroo found himself surprised that Atsumu didn’t have anything to say.

Kuroo swung his leg and kicked a rock to the side as minutes passed by and the curiosity began to grow. “Should we... check on him?”

“Right? That’s what I was thinking. How long does this shit have to take?” Atsumu tutted, jutting his hip out and sighing deeply. Clearly he wasn’t thinking about the interaction as much as Kuroo was. Atsumu, like always, was unbothered.

Suna walked over to the front door of the house and knocked on it a couple of times, mostly to satiate Atsumu’s impatience. “Kenma?” He called out. There was no answer. He tried it again a few moments later, but was met with the same.

Atsumu walked over and Kuroo followed him to join Suna on the front step.

“Kenma!” Atsumu yelled loudly. “We’re burning daylight!”

“Shh!” A lady walking her dog across the street called over. Atsumu poked his tongue out at her and she scoffed as she walked away. Her little white dog yipped and yapped the whole way until she turned a corner. 

“Whatever, I’m going in.”

Atsumu didn’t bother to knock again before pushing the door open. Suna and Kuroo looked at each other before hesitantly following behind.

There wasn’t anything too alarming about the inside of Kenma’s house, but the silence that filled it was deafening.

“I really don’t think we should be in here.” Suna whispered, reaching out to grab Atsumu by the arm. “This is weird, Atsumu.”

Atsumu wordlessly pulled away and headed up the staircase, leaving a couple of the steps creaking underneath his fearless feet as he went. Kuroo and Suna tiptoed silently behind him until they came to a hallway with an open door at the end. Atsumu kept going, pushing the open door a bit more so he could poke his head in. Kuroo and Suna watched him disappear in to the room, not knowing what to expect.

Suddenly, they heard a little _eek!_ before going in themselves.

“This your sister’s room?” Atsumu asked loudly, with absolutely no consideration for anything. He giggled wildly and pointed at Kenma who was on the ground. “Your face!”

Kenma looked as if he just saw a ghost, obviously not expecting the intrusion.

Atsumu had this half evil, half amused expression on his face, and he cocked his head to the side like a puppy. “What the heck are you doing down there anyway?”

“Looking for m-my- _something_! You a-asshole!” Kenma yelled, tossing a large stuffed mushroom at Atsumu. He looked like he had been trying to shove it underneath his bed or something. Maybe he was embarrassed of it?

Kuroo’s eyes popped at the outburst from Kenma and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. His lips cracked and he burst into a fit of laughter so hard that he had to grab his stomach. His knees went weak and he found himself going down to the floor next to Kenma, who was still holding his hand over his chest.

The comment Atsumu had made earlier only served to encourage his manic laughter. Kenma really did look like a feral kitten, sitting there huffing and puffing at Atsumu. All Suna could do was watch from the corner of the room.

“Are you guys good?”

Atsumu shrugged. “Ask Kuroo.”

It took a few minutes for Kuroo to calm down. From the floor, he looked around Kenma’s room. The walls were white and there were lots of cute things everywhere. Upon first glance it definitely did look like a girl’s room.

There were a few things that led Kuroo to believe it was actually Kenma’s room. Things like a stack of school books on speech therapy in the corner, a photo frame of Kenma and a beautiful woman who resembled him, and even a certificate on the wall with Kenma’s name printed on it.

A lot stood out, but his eyes stopped their search when he caught sight of a colorful PC sitting on a long desk. It had purple and blue flashing lights inside, with small figurines set out on display, complete with a comfortable looking gaming chair parked right in front. There was something eerily similar about it.

“You like video games?” Kuroo asked, genuinely curious.

Kenma stopped fuming at Atsumu to look at Kuroo, eyes shifty. “Sort of.”

“What the hell do you mean sort of?” Atsumu walked over and plopped down into the chair. “This setup doesn’t look cheap at all... Are you loaded or something, Kozume? Some kind of streamer?”

“I, um, b-built it. M-Myself.” Kenma replied. “Ch-Cheaper that way.”

Suna was focused on the flashing lights inside of the PC tower. “Whoa. It’s so glowy.”

“God, Suna are you high right now?”

“I actually tried this new edible before class.” Suna said to Atsumu. “If you want, later, I could give you some.”

“Like I said, volleyball. Can’t be doing that shit.” Atsumu rolled his eyes before getting up from the chair. “We live in the same hall, yet you know nothing, Rin. I’m hurt.”

Suna gave Atsumu a playful shove.

Kuroo didn’t notice that Kenma was staring at him, but he just smiled to try and calm the other boy’s nerves. He could tell that maybe Kenma wasn’t used to having a lot of people in his space. He almost looked uncomfortable.

“It’s really cool in here.” Kuroo said to him, trying to make small talk. It wasn’t a lie either. He really meant it. 

Kenma’s cheeks turned pink for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

“Oh, um. Th-Thanks.”

There was some part of Kuroo that liked getting under people’s skin — in a good way of course. When it came to shy people, Kuroo had a fascination with whatever might be hiding underneath that quietness and hesitation. Kenma was just his type. All he could do was smile as he saw the layers begin to unfold, one by one. Little did he know, Kenma would prove to be the most complex person he’d ever encounter probably. 

“Okay, but for real, Kenma... you’ve got a big ass collection here.” Atsumu pointed out a few plushies and figurines.

“I just... L-Like them.” Kenma replied as he got up from the floor.

They spent another fifteen minutes just listening to Kenma talk about some of his interests. Kuroo learned that Kenma was really into gaming and manga, as well as film photography. He also liked stuffed animals and cute things, which Kuroo thought was cool.

Kuroo grabbed a stuffed moose and pulled it into his lap for comfort as he watched Kenma show Atsumu and Suna his Pokémon card collection. He didn’t mind the fact that they weren’t working on school. In fact, it was nice to be out of the university and see something other than white brick dorm walls. 

When Kenma was relaxed like this, Kuroo noticed that his stutter would improve. It didn’t go away completely, but he could get through sentences with way more ease when he was talking about something he was passionate about. Suna and Atsumu seemed genuinely interested while Kenma was more than happy to share.

It was Suna who changed the direction of the conversation after flipping through the last page of Kenma’s Pokémon binder. “Alright, we should probably start working.”

Kenma tucked the binder away before hopping on to his chair. He pulled a notebook out and sat there waiting for everyone to get situated. Kuroo stayed in his corner on the floor, while Atsumu threw himself onto Kenma’s bed without permission. Suna also sat on the floor, a few feet away from Kuroo.

Kenma took the role of writing, since he wasn’t doing much of the talking. Basically, their project was to promote a made up business, almost like an ad or commercial. It seemed easy enough, but definitely was going to take some brainstorming. In the end they decided to create a coffee shop, since Kenma had experience working in one.

“What should we call it?” Suna wondered out loud.

“What about Neko Coffee Co.?” Suggested Atsumu, petting Kenma’s cat as she slowly walked by. She meowed quietly earning another head pat from Atsumu.

“That’s actually kind of good.” Kuroo hated to admit.

“Yeah? Neko Coffee Co.” Suna repeated, testing the way the words sounded in his mouth. He nodded. “I like it.”

Kenma wrote the name in his notebook.

—

The next hour passed quickly. Luckily, they made good progress. In the time spent in Kenma’s room, they managed to establish the name of their business, a fake menu, and marketing strategies they would use to promote it to the public. The next thing they had to do was prepare the poster for class, but that required the materials no one had. 

Atsumu yawned and looked at his phone.

“We should probably get going, Suna. It’s getting late.”

Suna looked at the time on Kenma’s desk. “It’s only 5 p.m.”

“Exactly. See y’all later.” Atsumu said and walked over to grab his hall mate by the wrist, towing him like a rag doll. “Thanks for letting us crash for a bit, Kenma.”

“Later!” Suna called back. 

“Alright, see you guys!” Kuroo replied, suddenly feeling the silence in the room as the other two left. It was just him and Kenma now. He looked up to the ceiling, trying to focus on the little cluster of glow in the dark stars Kenma had on his ceiling.

Kenma was rummaging through his bag, so Kuroo took the opportunity to pull his phone out of his pocket.

**K [5:02 p.m.]: Bo are they done inspecting?**

“So...” Kuroo started, noticing the way Kenma jumped at the sound of his voice.

Kenma turned around, a question on his eyes.

“I’m texting my roommate right now to see if I can go back to my dorm yet.”

“The s-s-suspicious, um...” Kenma swallowed. “Sub-Substances?”

Kuroo laughed. “Yeah. I honestly don’t even know why you’d bring anything to the dorms. The RA’s always find it.”

Kuroo’s phone buzzed.

**B [5:06 p.m.]: Nah Akaashi and I have been waiting but they’re still searching**

**B [5:06 p.m.]: I’m hungry :( bring me food Kuroo**

**K [5:07 p.m.]: Same. I’m actually not on campus rn. I had to do a study group, so I’m at Kenma’s house.**

**B [5:07 p.m.]: Who tf is Kenma???**

**B [5:08 p.m.]: YOU BETTER NOT HAVE AE NEW BEST FREIND KUROO**

**B [5:08 p.m.] I STG**

Kuroo smiled and laughed at the texts. From the other side of the room he could hear a small sigh. “Sorry about that. Just my friend.” He tucked his phone back into his pocket, even though he felt it buzz three more times. “Guess they’re still looking around.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, but I can take off if you want me to.” Kuroo started to get up.

“No!” Kenma replied rather quickly before physically retracting a little. “I-I-I mean you can s-stay.”

“You sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“It’s f-fine.”

“Thanks. I’m sure it won’t be much longer.”

That awkward silence filled the space between them again. Kuroo could see Kenma picking at a loose thread on his jeans, twisting and twirling it between his fingers. He wasn’t used to things being so awkward with another guy, especially someone as mellow as Kenma. It threw him off a bit.

“W-Wanna, um, play a game?” Kenma asked, almost as if he could hear Kuroo’s thoughts. 

Color Kuroo curious. A game?

“Sure.”

Kenma was quick to hop out of his chair and bound over to a set of drawers near his setup. He went digging for something while Kuroo watched intently. Kenma eventually fished out two gaming controllers and walked back over, giving one to Kuroo as he passed.

“C-Come here.” Kenma said, pointing to a beanbag in the corner.

“I didn’t even notice this.” Kuroo grunted as he hauled it over to the spot next to Kenma. He plopped down onto it with the controller still in his hand. He realized that he must have looked hilarious in that little chair. Normally he towered over most people, so it was funny that he was so short compared to Kenma now.

Kenma looked at him.

“It’s comfy.” Kuroo added quickly.

“Good.” Kenma clicked on a couple of icons on his computer screen while Kuroo watched. A game Kuroo had never seen before popped up on the screen and Kenma’s controller illuminated and vibrated, indicating it was on. Kuroo’s, on the other hand, was quiet as a mouse.

“Y-You’re player one.”

“Oh!” Kuroo pressed every button on his controller, feeling incompetent when nothing happened. “Hang on, I got this.” He pressed the same sequence of buttons again, but nothing.

“Push the l-little one.” Kenma pointed.

Kuroo examined the controller, hopeless. “Uh...”

“Here.” Kenma leaned over to press the button for Kuroo, stopping when their hands collided suddenly. The heat radiating from Kuroo’s hand was enough to make him gasp out loud when their skin made contact.

“Sorry.” Kuroo said sheepishly, shifting upwards to place the controller on the desk in front of Kenma so he could fix it. He wondered why he was feeling so nervous? It was just Kenma.

After a few seconds, Kenma handed the controller back to Kuroo with a small smile.

Kuroo took it and pressed one of the buttons to start the game.

—

“How the hell are you so good at this?” Kuroo asked, clearly frustrated with the game. They had played a few matches of Super Smash Bros, all of which Kenma won. From the side of his eye, Kenma watched Kuroo’s big fingers glide over the buttons clumsily, and he licked his lips.

“How- How are you so b-bad?” He teased, hoping it wasn’t too much. Kuroo didn’t seem to mind though, sitting there laughing. They had a bit of banter going back and forth during the games.

Kenma thought it would be weird having someone over like this, and at first it was, but after a couple rounds he was actually having fun.

“Jerk. I’d like to see you try to play volleyball someday.” 

Kenma thought for a moment about how bad he would probably be at volleyball. He pictured himself getting tired too easily and being unable to keep the ball going. As cool as volleyball looked, Kenma preferred this instead.

“You w-wish.”

While Kenma was off guard, Kuroo managed to send Kenma’s character flying off the map.

“Yeah!” Kuroo yelled, hopping up from the beanbag. He pointed at Kenma, teasing him for a moment. “What were you saying, Kenma? Who’s bad? Take that!”

Kenma was genuinely smiling up at him. “ _Y-You’re_ bad.”

A smile spread across Kuroo’s face before gently fading away as he glanced down at his phone to check something. He tapped away at his screen while Kenma turned to look in another direction.

Kenma didn’t want to seem nosy, but considering the way their last text conversation went... he couldn’t help but wonder. Kuroo was most likely talking to one of his friends or someone else. Then came the question he’d be dodging.

Did Kuroo have someone special in his life?

Anxiety pooled in Kenma’s stomach. That thought alone made him feel tense. Heartbreaking as it was, it was easy for Kenma to imagine Kuroo texting some pretty girl. Kenma pictured a gorgeous blonde with green eyes, similar to a girl Kuroo used to be good friends with in high school. They were probably boyfriend and girlfriend at some point, Kenma wasn’t sure. Maybe they still were and what happened in the bar didn’t matter.

All things aside, they’d probably look really great together. Kuroo was so handsome. The kind of handsome that had you stopping in your tracks when you saw him. And the girl? Well, the girl would be a good person with a heart of gold, who you’d have to be a monster to dislike. She and Kuroo would compliment each other so well. No one could stand in their way.

Not even me, Kenma thought. 

Kuroo was still typing when Kenma got up from his chair.

“B-Bathroom.” He muttered lowly, trying to ignore the fact that Kuroo didn’t look up from his phone as he walked away.

“Alright.” Kuroo called out last minute. 

Kenma shut the bathroom door behind him and took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. His hair was tossed messily into a half bun and his eye bags were prominent from late nights spent gaming. The sweater he was wearing was an old one, but a favorite. He thought that he looked frumpy, but he loved wearing oversized sweaters and vintage jeans with sneakers. He dressed like that every day and didn’t plan to change it any time soon.

As he looked in the mirror, he tried to push the gut feeling he had away. He and Kuroo were kind of, maybe, having a good time together. It almost felt like they were friends. Kenma’s heart sped up at that thought. Hanging out with Kuroo felt nice.

Perhaps they could just be friends like this and never talk about what happened? Kenma nodded to himself despite the sadness the thought also brought to him. If he wanted to be friends with Kuroo, this was probably how he could do it. The answer seemed so obvious, but at the same time he never felt more confused. 

The tap water was cold when he turned it on but that was a good thing. He splashed water on his face like that night in the bar. This feeling... It was familiar but also foreign. He had only felt it twice in his life. Once when he first saw Kuroo, and the second in the bar bathroom. Was it happening again because Kuroo was in his room? He wasn’t sure. He toweled his face off and decided he was going to have to push his feelings further down again.

When Kenma came back into the room, he half expected Kuroo to be gone. He was surprised to find Kuroo reclining on his bed, watching some video on his phone. Kuroo sure did know how to make himself at home, Kenma thought to himself.

Honey brown eyes traveled from the screen to where Kenma was standing.

“I’m getting kind of hungry.”

Perfect. This was something Kenma could handle. Hunger! Easy as pie, right?

“W-Well...” He remembered how he hadn’t gone grocery shopping for the week. His mother was away for a business trip that day, so she couldn’t either. That meant there were only mere scraps in the fridge. And the freezer? Well that was even worse.

Kuroo turned his phone screen to show Kenma something. “I’ve really been wanting to try this new place in town. Do you wanna go?”

Kenma’s eyes lit up. Was Kuroo asking him to go out? Well, obviously for food. It wasn’t a date, Kenma had to remind himself. They were _maybe_ friends and... friends did this kind of stuff all the time! There was no reason to panic.

What harm could there be in saying yes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so happy that you seem to be enjoying the story so far! i know it’s definitely a slow burner, but hang in there. i’m promising some sweet kuroken moments in the next chapter. i probably won’t be posting the next update until mid next week since i need some time to catch up on life, sleep (kenma kinnies? rise.), etc. but i’ll return with an update very soon. once again, thank you for reading and commenting. it means the world to me.


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